“Trust your gut! Vote for Suzy.”

“Trust your gut!  Vote for Suzy.”

If you attended Hedgesville High School in 2000, you might have seen this campaign poster plastered throughout hallways and hanging from lockers:

While, yes, I succeeded in clenching the title of “class chaplain,” there is a greater issue to be noted.

Do you see my belly?

No, I was not pregnant.  Quite the contrary, I was a virgin.  But it was during those years – my high school years – that I discovered the uncanny ability talent to be able to push out my belly to an insane degree.  I mean – come on! – that looks like I’m well into the second trimester at least, right?!

My bud, Mark Mann, even wrote about this phenomenon in our high school paper, The Eagle’s Eye:

Mann’s Believe It or Not

Name one thing that is good for when you’re bored, good for starting conversations, and good for impressing Brazilian missionaries: why it’s Suzy Testa’s stomach of course!…

…When fully stuffed with food, Suzy can go from a flat stomach to a third trimester in seconds.  We all know people that can do this to a degree, but Suzy can somehow make her stomach three or four times its normal size.  Suzy is very proud of her ability; while on her missions trip this summer, Suzy greatly impressed the missionaries with her stomach, and claims to have eaten more ice cream than anyone on her team.  Suzy challenges anyone in the school to an ice cream eating contest.  She would also like to remind people that she is neither pregnant nor overweight – she just wants to be a “cute pregnant lady” someday.

Lest we forget just how incredible and distinguishable this talent is, let’s review my average waist size (try not to hate me and just enjoy the glorious  Christmas tree in the background):

Brian and I have taken to labeling the “babies” in my belly.

In this picture (taken by another one of my buds, Ben Lebovitz), we called this the Ethiopian Baby:

Clearly I had just indulged myself in Ethiopian food.

I call this one my Red Bean Ice Cream Baby:

Shocking.  I know.

(Seriously, if you’ve never had red bean ice cream, you’re missing out.  Don’t act like it’s gross; you eat vanilla bean ice cream, don’t you?)

Yes, I had to unbutton my pants.  Upon texting my friends, I realized that my giftedness was greater than I had imagined as I even managed to fool women who have children of their own and know how to recognize pregnant bellies.  It IS surprising the talents that go undiscovered for so many years…

Except this time it’s not a talent.  This time it’s for real.

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To be continued…

(PS – We all like to be first in the know, but please do me the favor of nonchalantly sharing this particular post if you’re dying to spread the word that I’m preggo.  It’s just more fun this way!)

51 Comments

  1. March 26, 2012
    charles armstrong

    Way to go Suzy and Brian!!! And I am going to be a grandfather!I love you guys!

  2. March 26, 2012
    Heather

    Wonderful blessings and congratulations to you and Brian. Super excited up here on the mountain in PA:) Love to you both.

  3. March 26, 2012
    Rach

    What?! Now I’m really sad I missed the family gathering yesterday, because I want to hug you both! Congratulations!

  4. March 26, 2012
    adele bernard

    I cried when you told us and as I read this wonderful blog I have tears streaming down my face. I am so happy for you both. Love you bunches!!!!

  5. March 26, 2012
    Momma

    We’re really looking forward to this. :)

  6. March 26, 2012
    katie

    And you are going to be a beUuuuuutiful pregnant lady! What a precious time. I am so happy for you guys!

  7. March 26, 2012
    Dee

    Congratulations. So very happy for you both.

  8. March 26, 2012
    Jessica

    Yay! So so so so so so so so happy for you two :D So exciting :D :D

  9. March 26, 2012
    Rebecca Ogle

    Congratulations!

  10. March 26, 2012
    Margaret Treadwell

    that is awesome, sweet Suzy! Congratulations!

  11. March 26, 2012
    Skyla

    :-) me mucho gusta.

  12. March 26, 2012
    Manny

    Looking forward to being “aunt manny”. I’m very happy for you and Brian. Makes me warm and fuzzy on the inside. <3

  13. As I said on Facebook, CONGRATULATIONS!! My talent is different though–after 8 kids, I now have the ability to always look pregnant, thereby leading random strangers as well as good friends to constantly ask me if I am expecting again . . . but then again, sometimes they are right . . .

  14. March 26, 2012
    tamra

    I am reading this on my phone, which doesnt allow me to see the entire post. Got to the line “…this time its real”. I stopped. Read it again. And a third time…thought “does that mean she’s pregnant?”
    I scrolled down and said, “YAY!!!!!!!”
    **happy dance***

  15. March 26, 2012
    Kennera

    Nice delivery on that punch line! Haha!! Congratulations!!!!!

  16. March 26, 2012
    Ben

    oh, wow!!! Congratulations Suzy and Brian!!! i’m extremely happy for you!!!!

  17. March 26, 2012
    Tami H.

    Congratulations! That is such exciting news!!

  18. March 26, 2012
    Melisa

    Rob just called me at work super excited: “Did you read Suzy’s blog today?!” We’re SO psyched!!! Congrats to you both!

  19. March 26, 2012
    Abbie Lycans

    Welcome to the club, Suzy! I’m so glad you made me subscribe to your blog while I’m off facebook. I would be livid about missing this. I’m sooooo excited you’ll be sharing this experience with me, I’ve been waiting for this day and when I got pregnant I was hoping even more it would come soon. Do me a favor and think of at least one question to ask me about being pregnant so I can help you out with something for once. :)

  20. March 26, 2012
    Louise

    Jerry and I are so thrilled for you!! You’ll be the best parents!

  21. March 26, 2012
    Dawn Spears

    Wonderful!!! I am so happy for you both !! Lucky baby has two great parents <3

  22. March 26, 2012
    Mardi

    I’m just so over -the -top tickled for you and Brian, Suzanna! What a terrific mom you will make!

  23. March 26, 2012
    melody

    This will be one absolutely beautiful and loved baby.
    Your tummy will look even cuter than the pictures above, believe me. And, you and Brian will sparkle.

    I send so much love and wishes for good health for all, many incredible blessings and wonderful months ahead.

  24. March 26, 2012
    Chelsea

    Congratulations Suzy!!! I’m so happy for you and Brian!! :] you guys will be awesome parents!!

  25. March 26, 2012
    Angela

    Oh, Suzy! That is AWESOME! Guess Brian finally got a yes to the question he is always asking!!! Woo-hoo! So happy for you two!

  26. March 26, 2012
    Cindi Loretz

    I am so happy for you all! Congrats from :just a reader”.

  27. March 26, 2012
    Kimberly

    Congratulations! So you have the talent of making your belly stick out and apparently I have the talent of knowing when people are pregnant. Seriously, I knew this two weeks ago–ask Kevin. How bizarre for me, but how wonderful for you both!

  28. March 26, 2012
    Aubrey Heki

    AHHHH Suzy! Yay! How far along? I was just going to say, your Red Bean Ice Cream Baby looks like my 16 week baby bump. :-p

  29. March 26, 2012
    Ruth

    That baby is blessed! I wish you and Brian all the best!

  30. March 26, 2012
    Memaw & Grandaddy

    We have been waiting for this news. We will now have another great grandchild to SPOIL!!! We are lucky to have the two of you in our family. Love both of you.

    • March 28, 2012
      Memaw & Grandaddy

      After having 4 wonderful grandsons & 1 spoiled great grandson …THINK PINK!!!!

  31. March 27, 2012
    Donna Hodson

    Wonderful news!!! You both will be great parents!!! I’m going to be a grandma:) Can’t wait!!! Love you both!!!! Mom

      • March 27, 2012
        Donna Hodson

        Yes, I just could not keep silent on this one:)
        Wonderful news!!
        You and Brian will be awesome parents!!!
        Love, Mom

  32. March 27, 2012
    erin mcdonald

    If this time is for real I want to see the belly!!!!

    heee heeee! So happy for you!

  33. March 27, 2012
    Therese Varndell

    Congrats! That sure is one lucky baby!

  34. March 27, 2012
    Sonia

    YEAAAAHHHHH! Congratulations to you and Brian! I am so excited for you. Enjoy every moment of this new journey. XXXOOO

  35. March 27, 2012
    Dannielletimmermann

    Congratulations! I am happy and excited for you and Brian.

  36. March 28, 2012
    Kelly

    Congratulations to you and Brian!

  37. Such wonderful news! God bless the three of you! As others have already said, team Spears will be amazing because your strength comes from THE ULTIMATE COACH! The Creator of Life Himself.

  38. April 3, 2012
    JoDee

    awwwww! congratulations!!! how very exciting!! <3

  39. November 3, 2012
    Kelsey

    As soon as I started reading this post I knew what was coming. Eeep! And to think – the little guy has been here for a week already!!

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