Normally I wouldn’t do this, except it was my momma. Only your closest loved ones can be on the other end of the phone when you’re, um, on the loo.
(Come on. Don’t act like you’ve never done it.)
In the beginning of our phone conversation, I hadn’t decided exactly what I’d be blogging about tonight.
…funny the moments that inspire you…
I found my topic a few minutes later when I reached for the toilet paper:
Yeahhhhhh. Square Piece ain’t wipin’ with that.
Normally I’d A) grab the spider with a big wad of tissue and promptly flush it or B) attack it with hairspray. Well, I was in Brian’s bathroom, so hairspray was nowhere to be found. This left me with Option A.
How exactly are you supposed to grab the spider with toilet paper and flush it when 1) you can’t get the toilet paper without touching the spider and 2) you can’t get off the pot to find another solution ’cause, um… well… ahem, your pants are around your ankles and you haven’t wiped yet… you know, ’cause there’s a spider on the toilet paper?! Oh, the twisted irony.
Momma was gracious enough to let me off the phone as I squealed, whined and somehow lived to tell the tale.
Phew. That was a close one.