Twisted irony on the pot.

Normally I wouldn’t do this, except it was my momma.  Only your closest loved ones can be on the other end of the phone when you’re, um, on the loo.

(Come on.  Don’t act like you’ve never done it.)

In the beginning of our phone conversation, I hadn’t decided exactly what I’d be blogging about tonight.

funny the moments that inspire you

I found my topic a few minutes later when I reached for the toilet paper:

Yeahhhhhh.  Square Piece ain’t wipin’ with that.

Normally I’d A) grab the spider with a big wad of tissue and promptly flush it or B) attack it with hairspray.  Well, I was in Brian’s bathroom, so hairspray was nowhere to be found.  This left me with Option A.

How exactly are you supposed to grab the spider with toilet paper and flush it when 1) you can’t get the toilet paper without touching the spider and 2) you can’t get off the pot to find another solution ’cause, um… well… ahem, your pants are around your ankles and you haven’t wiped yet… you know, ’cause there’s a spider on the toilet paper?!  Oh, the twisted irony.

Momma was gracious enough to let me off the phone as I squealed, whined and somehow lived to tell the tale.

Phew.  That was a close one.


  1. September 24, 2012

    hahahahahaha, oh the adventures in your life 🙂

  2. September 24, 2012

    Oh my goodness….you take the cake today, my friend!!!

  3. September 24, 2012

    Thanks for being the key to my Monday night stress reduction. I laughed long and hard and then read it out loud to C and E

  4. September 25, 2012

    Ahhh really makes you want to look twice. Rand but that’s a tall toilet paper roll. What brand is it?

  5. September 25, 2012

    i HATE spiders. i would have promptly called jordan and demanded he come over to take care of it. thats pretty much what happened with a bull cricket that i found just inside the toilet bowl before i dropped trou. im still tramatized from that.

  6. September 25, 2012

    That was quite a predicament. At least it was in clear view- I live in mortal fear of there being one on the inside of the role. I check everytime I pick it up (especially at night- I hold it up to the nightlight before proceeding.)

  7. September 25, 2012

    Bah ha ha! Ewwww. I had to pull off the road quick yesterday due to a spider haulin’ butt all over the passenger side! He was furry and black. Gross. I never did find him…..

  8. September 25, 2012

    I HATE spiders. I killed one yesterday that was a good four inches. I know those crickets are scary looking but, they EAT SPIDERS. I’ll take the cricket any day.

  9. September 25, 2012

    Suggestion: Keep Lysol wipes next to the toilet.

    They come in so handy in emergencies!

  10. September 26, 2012

    you will soon have baby wipes in every room of the house…they make great emergency (and regular) tp substitutes…so hopefully you won’t have this dilemma again!

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