A nice friend.

Good vs. Nice

I’ve been giving a little more thought to these two adjectives as this year has prompted a turnabout in my priorities.  Deep in my soul is the strongest desire to be 1) a good wife, 2) a good mom and 3) a good daughter (both to my mother and to my heavenly Father).

And while that certainly seems like a great list that prioritizes the most wonderful people in my life – husband, son, God and family – I’ve been disappointed to notice that friends do seem a little farther down than when I was young and single.

Recently, it took me TWO months to get a simple meal to a friend who had recently delivered her third son.

Two months?!  How can that be?! I criticized myself.

A little cloud of guilt began to form over me until I remembered that I truly can’t be all things to all people in the most perfect way.  (That’s a status that is certainly reserved for someone much greater than myself.)  I might not be a good friend, but I am a nice friend.

That is to say that I might not remember your birthday, show up with proper punctuality or send the appropriate card at the appropriate time; but when I DO remember, show up and get to writing that card, it will be with a heart of love and sincerity.  And I’m beginning to be okay with that… the difference between being a good friend and being a nice friend.

My husband needs a good wife more than he needs a nice wife.  My son needs a good mom more than he needs a nice mom.  And my Lord deserves a good daughter more that He deserves a nice daughter.  So I’m learning to save my strength and show myself grace. We all experience seasons in our lives, seasons to step up and seasons to pull back.  During the times when I was free to be front and center at the drop of a hat, I reckon that there were others who needed a good two months to get their shoes on and head out the door.  And now that it’s my turn to be in this season of careful priority, I trust that there are others who have a touch more freedom and can boldly and proudly wear the title of “good friend,” giving me time to wipe noses, simmer broths, silently sit in prayer and eventually make a “nice friend” quality meal two months later.


Does that make any sense at all?


  1. February 23, 2014

    Well said. Brian and Bennett are lucky to have you.

  2. February 23, 2014

    I love you. And I love that you wrote this.

  3. February 23, 2014

    Absolutely true. Age teaches you more about what you would like to do (very very long list for me) versus what you are able physically and/or emotionally to truly accomplish (list gets shorter each day/month/year).

  4. February 23, 2014
    Aunt Manny

    I understand what you’re saying. Your honesty is appreciated. It’s hard to show ourselves grace, isn’t it?

  5. February 23, 2014

    …. sometimes we get neglected after all is said and done …… so I’m sure the meal was appreciated ….. it’s easy to think about people when they are in the midst of some great event, so I think the timing was a God-thing …… I think special attention is appreciated whenever one can get it, by most people ……

  6. February 24, 2014

    i think you’ve got your priorities completely straight

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