Allergies and armpits.

Brian looked at me this morning and had a few words to say.

Brian, with the sarcasm that could have only come from the subject of The Dreadlock Incident, “Oh, that’s nice.  Why don’t I take a picture of that and put it on your blog.”

Me, “Go ahead.  You think I’m too proud?”

Come onnnnn.  Tell me you’ve never done this.  Puh-leeease.  We all know how good this feels.

I swear allergy season has begun.

Can I just explain for a second how difficult it is to suffer with allergies when you’re trying to be a professional cosmetologist?

Take, for instance, my having to do facial waxing.  Hovering over my client’s face, I have to sniffle and sniffle and sniffle to be sure that nothing drips directly beneath me.  It’s so suspenseful.

Just sayin’.

Or then there’s the ever so potent whiff of ammonia that hits me when I’m trying to color hair.  That’s a painful combo with the nasal funk.

Or then there’s the moment when I’m about to snip a lock of hair – and it’s clenched between my fingers – but all of a sudden, mid sentence, I have to turn my back and sneeze.  And it has to be a loud sneeze through the mouth.  A dainty and delicate sneeze (‘choo) through the nose is typically my sneeze of choice.  But if I try to be dainty while I’ve got allergies, my face will end up a mess.  Alas, loud-sneezing-through-the-mouth season is upon us.  *shrug*  Whatever keeps that junk in my nose during a hair service…

As if it wasn’t awkward enough trying to not appear drippy and snotty at work today, I was dealing with wardrobe issues as well.  Yep.  Another dress bites the dust.  Curse these broad shoulders.

Here’s the thing: because I have broad shoulders, more fabric is needed to drape them.  That hikes up the arm holes on any top.  When arm holes get lifted due to broad shoulders, the result is what feels like a fabric blade in the armpit.  My armpits tend to take this a bit personally.  As a defense, they then emit an odor, trying to compel the fabric to back off.

So it was a two-fold battle today: an allergy battle and an armpit battle.  Just thought you should know.

Presently I’m making a mental note to never, ever, EVER again purchase any item of clothing that poses a threat to the armpits.  No, Square Piece.  No!  No matter how good of a deal it is, not even if it’s $1.00.  Just walk away.


  1. February 23, 2012

    My term for the armpit fiasco is armpit wedgies; they are not comfortable and sometimes HURT.

  2. February 23, 2012

    awwwww, I hope you feel better soon

    I hate armpit wedgies, too!

  3. February 23, 2012

    Haha i saw you do the lean away and sneeze. My first thought was whew atleast she kept the scissors away from the clients head…skills lol. And i totally rock the tissue up the nose, did it to mayson once bc i got tired of hearing TISSUE. TISSUE. TISSUE MOMMY TISSUE. Every 30 seconds. So glad you arent too proud to share these moments!

  4. February 24, 2012

    bah ha ha ha! I know exactly how you feel. Taking an order, looking down at the table, in the peak of allergy season. Nightmare! Yeah….

  5. February 28, 2012

    I never realized that even a skinny person can have clothing pain. Who would have thought broad
    shoulders would be an adverse trait? Realize that those of us who are pudges have a similar problem with bras! The straps, especially the elastic variety, are often too short and therefore the band of the bra digs into the aforementioned armpits! Makes me wretched.

    Sorry you were having a double whammy day!

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