Early appointment at the gym yesterday. I could tell that my trainer was running a little behind, so I started on a treadmill. You know those suspended televisions that keep your mind occupied while you’re working out? Well, when they’re on mute and have no captioning, I am left inside my own mind and it goes something like this:
Okay. Good Morning America is doing a twitter thing. Don’t forget #your3words. #Your3words. #Your3words. The mint incident! Those would make three great words.
Sarah Jessica Parker interview? Really, Sarah? This early in the morning and you don’t think it’s a good idea to wear any color whatsoever? I think her face shape is oblong. One word, Sarah Jessica Parker: bangs. Get something horizontal going on in there.
Maybe I should try going to the bathroom one more time before he’s ready for me.
Or maybe I should go check my nose.
I wonder how long he was a trainer before he had a client toot in front of him.
Where’s my phone? Oh, it’s still in the car. Don’t forget twitter.
Weather report! Thank you, Lord! No rain this Sunday! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Mid 80’s. Ahhhh… Perfect for a backyard concert. Should I text the guys?
Once Marcus was ready for me, he expressed concern.
Marcus, “I’m not saying you look bad, but are you all right?”
Me, shrugging, “Yeah. I know my eyes are red, but I think they got irritated from the fan blowing on the treadmill.”
Did you catch how smooth Marcus was? That man clearly knows how to dance around the sensitivities of a woman to preface his question with, “I’m not saying you look bad…”
Then I learned something else about Marcus: If he asks how a routine felt and you reply with, “I feel like I could have taken a nap,” he’s definitely going to add another ten pounds. Whoopsie.