The Conditioner Incident.

For the last two weeks, I’ve been giggling and snickering and laughing my butt off thanks to my wonderful husband, Brian.  Poor Corinne has had to hear me retell this story no less than ten times in the salon, but every time I tell it, it’s as funny as the first.

Everyone has a different opinion about this, but I’m of the belief that you should shampoo your hair as infrequently as beautifully possible.  But when you DO shampoo your hair, use the good stuff.  Myself?  I’m a once-or-twice-a-weeker.  It takes a while to convince your body that this is the new deal and to back off on oil production.  But eventually it gets the drift and the scalp decides to be less oily.

Anyhow.  Not the point.  I only mention this because enough days go between my shampoos that I tend to forget things like, “Oh yeah, I ran out of conditioner last time and need to replace it.”

Such was the case a couple of weeks ago:

-Wash.

-Rinse.

(Repeat?  Um, no.  That’s what clarifying shampoos are for.  This is a great one that I use and we sell… but I think they messed up the details on that page.)

-Condition?

Shoot.  I don’t have any conditioner in here!

You know what that means when you’re mid-shower.  Right, but there are few things in this world that I hate.

• Violence against the weak and helpless.
• Soggy bread.
• Being cold.

What happens when Square Piece is cold?  Well, she fears that if she moves from her huddled posture, another gust of chilly air might hit new spots on her body; so instead of being productive and pleasant, she’s angry and barking orders at everyone else.  No good.

So, yeah, I was out of conditioner.  But when one operates a salon from her home and shampoos her clients in the kitchen sink, is she ever REALLY out of conditioner?  No, not really.

Me, hollering through the walls to my slumbering husband: “BRIAN!  BRIAN!  COULD YOU BRING ME ONE OF THE PUMPS OF CONDITIONER BY THE KITCHEN SINK?”

Brian: “WHAT?”

Me: “COULD YOU BRING ME ONE OF THE CONDITIONER PUMPS, THE ONES BY THE FRIDGE.  JUST ANY OF THEM, IT DOESN’T MATTER!”

Brian heard every word I said.  Before I knew it, he peeled back the shower curtain to save the day and handed me exactly what I asked for.  Taking a cue from his very literal wife, Brian had actually UNSCREWED the pump, lifted it OUT of the bottle of conditioner and brought me THE pump itself.

That’s right.  Every bottle of conditioner was still lining my kitchen sink, but – sure enough – I had “the pump of conditioner.”

This.  This is the difference between a man and a woman.  And, quite honestly, I find this to be a shining and brilliant moment for my husband who truly heard me loud and clear and actually delivered exactly what I didn’t realize I had been requesting the whole time.