Women judge women. It’s an unfortunate fact of life.
Ninety percent of the time, if you seen me all dolled up at the salon, it’s because I’m dressing – not for Brian – but for women. We scope each other out. We compliment. We admire. We critique.
But we’re not always good at it.
At least, I’m not. When I’m checking out other women, it’s generally with a complete unawareness of how I’m coming across in that same moment. It would not be unlike me to head straight to the gym after work, hit the treadmill and carefully eye my fellow gym-goers.
Look at all that makeup she has on! I don’t understand why people put their makeup on before coming to the gym to sweat it off…
Never mind that I’ve just come straight from the salon and not only have my face on, but a beautifully blown-dry mane of red hair cascading freely down my back.
*cough* Hypocrite. *cough*
Brian and I once met up with a couple in the morning. None of us had eaten breakfast yet and I believe the hour was around 8AM. The wife had already done her makeup and all I could see was the incredible amount of blue eye shadow coming at me. Incredible amount. It still would have been a lot even if it was midnight on a Friday night.
Seems a little early for so much eye makeup. That is some insanely blue eye shadow.
A couple days later, keeping my judgmental opinions to myself, I revisited that moment with Brian. I was sure that he must have noticed and would agree with my ruling on the eye shadow.
Me, “So, what did you think of her eye makeup?”
Brian, “I liked it. I wish you’d wear makeup like that sometimes.”
Me, “You.?. want.?. me to.?.” I recomposed, “So you liked that, huh? Hmm.” Then I silently pondered this.
And JustLikeThat, it suddenly hit me how fun and freeing it would be to let my face be such a palate – at any hour of the day – if I knew my husband would enjoy it. (From now on, if you see me with rainbow colors on my eyes, it’s for Brian.) Did I think to stop and consider that Brian and I have completely opposite tastes in everything that’s meant to make our world pretty? No. He likes gaudy ceiling fans; I like neutral ceiling fans. He prefers loud decor; my taste is more refined. And so goes our marriage. But somehow I was with him on the makeup thing.
So this week I’ve been dolling up my eyes and couldn’t help but wonder if and when he’d notice. This is what happens when women dress for the husband and not for other women:
Brian, “Your eyes look nice! I like your eye makeup. Is that purple?”
Me, “It’s green.”
Brian, “Oh… Really?”
(By the way, as a loving gesture of consideration, I usually have Brian review any post that mentions him before making our life public. But Brian’s away at a church retreat this morning. He hasn’t yet approved this post, but I’m pretty sure based on stories such as The Mint Incident and The Pantyliner Incident that this is really small potatoes.)