Do you think the staff at the pediatrician’s office compare notes on patients? If so, Bennett’s chart probably comes with a warning about my incompetence.
We’ve had four appointments so far, this past Friday being the most recent. Not once have we left there without incident. I’d love to get in and out without being memorable, but no. Bennett enjoys peeing before, during and/or after each weigh in. (But he weighed 9.13 lbs! That’s 2.1 lbs gained!) Last time he soaked the pediatrician’s ENTIRE table. The paper that lines it literally wicked his pee to all four corners.
Then there’s the fact that every time they’re watching, I bonk Bennett in the head getting him in or out of these awkward corners, angles and contraptions. It doesn’t help that there’s nothing but hard surfaces to exaggerate how uncomfortable we both are.
And finally, before I can leave, naturally my son needs to be strapped back into his carseat. I’m sure that everyone in the facility thinks that I’m securing him inside out and upside down for as much as he screams bloody murder. Such a delight.
I need one of those Men In Black flashy things to erase everyone’s memories. Yep, last year I wanted a spoon rest for Christmas. This year? Invisibility.