Mental: Are we suuuure there’s a baby in my belly?
Being pregnant doesn’t feel like it’s about a him or her yet. It still feels like it’s all about me. (I’m getting bigger. I’m feeling discomfort. I’m craving. I’m forgetful.) There haven’t been any flutters or summersaults or karate chops or hiccups in my stomach (that I’m aware of). But I look forward to the days when I can say, “He’s awake… She’s dancing… He’s stretching… She’s sleeping.”
I know there’s a human inside of me, but so far it’s still a book knowledge.
Spiritual: Feeling mighty grateful these days. There’s an ever-growing fascination with the intricate process in which a baby develops. For instance, last night when I got in my car, I thought to myself, “All of these videos that are produced to explain how the baby’s growing during certain weeks in the pregnancy, none of them can explain how the soul gets there. There’s a soul breathed into man by God; and that’s not something that grows on its own accord.”
Emotional: Week fifteen has been good to me! I am lovin’ me some second trimester!
It occurred to me this week that I feel pretty.
This isn’t to say that before this I felt like I was ugly; but I feel pretty in a noticeably unfamiliar way. It’s a very comfortable-with-myself kind of feeling. As far as my body goes, I’m starting to look more like a woman and less like a girl… And I like it!
In fact, I asked Brian, “Honey? If after the pregnancy I just got down to this size and not size 2, would you mind?”
Brian, “No! I think you look good!”
Additionally, I’m enjoying wearing less makeup. Due to the nature of my job, I need to look professional and put together; so I won’t be going totally granola hippie and rolling in with dreadlocked hair and a plain face. But, if the circumstances were different, I could see myself headed in that direction… ’cause I just don’t feel like I need it right now!
It’s the weirdest sensation.
Physical: Don’t get too impressed with the fact that I’m presently very comfortable in my skin. In other news, I believe that as of yesterday I joined the Pregnant Women Who Are Secretly Walking Around With A Hemorrhoid Club.
Except now that I’ve admitted it, I’m sure to be removed from membership and join the Pregnant Women to Admit to Having Hemorrhoids Club.
I’m not too stressed about it. It’s just a teeny thing and there’s practically no discomfort. Apparently this is super common in pregnancy because “Your growing uterus puts pressure on the pelvic veins and the inferior vena cava, a large vein on the right side of the body that receives blood from the lower limbs. This can slow the return of blood from the lower half of your body, which increases the pressure on the veins below your uterus and causes them to become more dilated or swollen. In addition, an increase in the hormone progesterone during pregnancy causes the walls of your veins to relax, allowing them to swell more easily.” (Thanks Baby Center!)
Trust me, I’m eating plenty of fruit to keep things soft in that ballpark; but this seems inevitable. *shrug* WhatEv.