Having Known for 17 Weeks / At Week 23.

Mental:  Four more months to go (give or take… who knows?).  Time really feels like it’s flying, zipping, soaring by.  How am I five months pregnant right now?  I mean… like… I know “how.”  But still, how?  There’s a pendulum that swings back and forth within me.  Almost all of the time it’s on the calm, take-this-in-stride side.  But sometimes I’m hit with a second of awestruck panic and I realize that the pendulum has made its move once again.

Emotional:  Ahem.  Pregnant Square Piece has something to say: In life, when you’re given a moment in which you have the opportunity to be discouraging, encouraging or say nothing at all, never choose discouraging (obviously there are critical, life-threatening, future-shaping exceptions).

Say, for instance, that you overhear Pregnant Square Piece being asked if she wants a drug-free childbirth experience.

And say, for instance, that you overhear Pregnant Square Piece confirm that she indeed does.  She continues to acknowledge that she knows her ideals might not be met, but she’s educating herself enough to try and be in a position where pain will not be surprising, therefore causing her not to panic, leaving her in a mental state to relax and cope with it rather than to fear it.  Pregnant Square Piece explains that when she’s in a state of panic, pain hurts worse and she might opt for drugs; but when she knows why the pain is there, she can typically manage it better.

Do not, under any circumstances, upon overhearing this conversation mutter, “Good luck,” at Square Piece.  I’m not saying you can’t think it.  Go ahead.  Just keep it out of my head, please.

Yes, I’m well aware that there are such things as epidurals and a cesarean sections.  It’s not like I want a drug-free birth because I didn’t realize medications are available.  I’m well aware that many women want to give natural childbirth a try, but change their mind in the moment.  Who knows?  Maybe that’ll be me.  But maybe it won’t.  And the last thing that I need when I’m in labor and an overwhelming, body-rocking contraction hits me is to hear some I-know-better-than-you voice in my head chiming a condescending, “Good luck,” at me.

How about, “God bless”?

How about, “I hope that works out for you”?

How about, “I’ll keep you in my prayers”?

How about, “If you can do it, great”?

How about silence?

Spiritual: Soooo… if it isn’t already obvious, Square Piece clearly needs prayer over her increasing irritability.  There’s a defensiveness that arises when I feel challenged.  And the last way that I want to live my life is with the motivation that I’ve got something to prove.  Instead, I want to ever recall the constant ways in which I’m called to love others.  (“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength… Love your neighbor as yourself… Love your enemies…”  ~The Bible.)  When given the option to be fueled by love versus fueled by grudge, I want to choose love.

Brian’s been doing a great job reading scripture and praying with me.  My love and appreciation for him continues to grow in this time.

Physical:  If it weren’t for my pained feet, there were a few days this week that I didn’t even feel pregnant.

So as far as feet management goes, my new strategy is to spend a good 30 minutes a day on the electric foot massager.  Makes all the difference.

And, in other physical news, I fear that I’m going to have to say a difficult goodbye soon…

To be continued…


  1. June 29, 2012

    ahhhh! you and your “to be continued” ….

    I can’t wait to see you again … and pat your belly. 🙂

  2. June 29, 2012
    Heather F

    You do with your labor what you feel is right…med free all the meds in the worldc-section, water birth whatever works for you and your family…..Your body, your baby, your labor…I am always praaying that things will go the way our Lord and FAther intends for them. You will do well and you will have your gift from God by your side (yes I mean you Briand;), and the end result will be a beautiful baby Bennett in your arms.

  3. June 29, 2012

    i love my second trimester and feeling not pregnant. it was the most fun, physically. i did have some very unexpected spurts of irritability. and some weepy times about how much weight i had gained, that was before zach hid the scale.

  4. June 29, 2012


    I had people throwing out opinions to me about mess no meds. It was really hard for me to show grace. But in the end what happend happened. There are so many things with pregnancy and children that there is no set plan for. But with each pregnancy we each have to feel right in what we choose. So keep it up and don’t let others effect you in a negitive way. You look awesome by the way! If you need anything please let ms know!

  5. June 29, 2012

    Difficult goodbye and to be continued in two lines…I don’t like the sound of that. I can’t say I’m fond of people putting the negative spin on things either. I just pray the decisions you make are right for you and Bennett!

  6. Suzy, if you ever want to talk about natural childbirth and ways of coping, please let me know. I would love to have you over for lunch to discuss it! I’m planning on doing this with Aubrey in August! All 8 of mine have been natural (even Micah, who was 10#8oz), so I have some experience. You are so right though that things change, and what sounds so good and right in theory just doesn’t always work, so being flexible and not tied to an ideal is definitely the best mental attitude to cultivate! You will have MANY people praying for you when you go into labor! : )

  7. July 3, 2012

    I actually did the no meds thing back in 1975 when i had my daughter, and honestly? I really don’t remember a lot of pain, though i’m sure there was. i highly recommend staying as active and getting plenty of exercise because I suspect that was a contributing factor to my (in my opinion) easy labor. though if you don’t want to play raquetball through your eighth month of pregnancy, i certainly can’t blame you 🙂

  8. July 4, 2012
    margaret treadwell

    hey Suzy…I planned on meds and the nurses didn’t think I was pushing well enough (ok…at all!) so they turned them off! Any way, God made your body and He will be with you what ever happens! And I had the opposite , highly irritating, conversation with a woman who (quite condescendingly) told me that childbirth doesn’t hurt at all if you breathe properly!

  9. July 9, 2012

    I really spent my whole pregnancy deciding on natural childbirth. Then, Lisa was breech and they told me it would endanger her life unless I had a C-Section. Then, they told me since I had one C-Sect, my uterus could rupture if I didn’t have another. All of my plans were for naught!

    But, natural childbirth was always what I dreamed of doing. In addition, I wanted a mirror set up so I could see everything. You and I have much OCD in common, you know. I wish you everything I was unable to have and more!!!!

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