Having Known for 19 Weeks / At Week 25.

Mental:  Oh dear.  I think I have a very active little boy in my belly.  It’s been said that what you experience in the womb, you’re likely to experience outside of the womb.  This should be interesting.

Physical:  Insanely hungry all over again.  Has Bennett hit a growth spurt or something?  I tried explaining this to Brian yesterday.

Me: Remember in March when I was queasy all the time and I didn’t want to eat anything, but I was SO hungry?

Brian: Yeah … ?

Me: Well, I’m starting to feel that hungry again, without the queasiness, but with the same sense of urgency and panic.

Brian: So, you’re telling me you’re going to start being “h-angry” again?

Me: Yes.

In other physical news: I had a checkup this week.  My belly is measuring to be right on track (24.5 centimeters) and I’ve gained a total of 17 pounds since they first started seeing me (from 126 to 143), every pound of which Brian seems to be loving.  (Though I probably lost a pound yesterday as my boss gave me a much needed haircut.  My length is still there, but the layers are fabulously shaggy now.  After spending a good 30+ minutes blowing my hair dry yesterday, I realized that this chop was imperative.)

Bennett’s heart rate was around 160 again.

And the last bit of physical news I posted earlier this week in Dear God.

Emotional:  The women with Loudoun Community Midwives seem right up my alley.  I was able to ask a few more specific questions regarding the birthing possibilities and we’re definitely on the same page.  So far, I’ve met every woman who could be delivering my baby and not one of them has made me uncomfortable.

It is a little disappointing, however, that I have to wait until the first week in August for the ultrasound that’s going to determine how much (if any) my placenta has moved away from the cervix.  It’s considered “low lying” and, if it doesn’t move, will require a c-section.

Interesting fact: When reading Ina May’s book, I learned that there once was a midwife who figured out how to safely deliver babies whose mothers had placenta previa.  The placenta was actually delivered first; then the midwife would immediately reach in for the baby, grab him by the legs and pull him out, too.

Even though no provider would risk such a measure today, it still fascinates me that once upon a time, people just had to figure out how to work with the body.

Spiritual:  In reading John 4 this week, I came across the story of the official who asked Jesus to heal his son.  Being that I’m preparing to be a mother to a son, though I’ve read this story many times before, it hit me from a new perspective.

Here’s the story:

45 When [Jesus] arrived in Galilee, the Galileans welcomed him. They had seen all that he had done in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, for they also had been there.

46 Once more he visited Cana in Galilee, where he had turned the water into wine. And there was a certain royal official whose son lay sick at Capernaum. 47 When this man heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and begged him to come and heal his son, who was close to death.

48 “Unless you people see signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”

49 The royal official said, “Sir, come down before my child dies.”

50 “Go,” Jesus replied, “your son will live.”

The man took Jesus at his word and departed. 51 While he was still on the way, his servants met him with the news that his boy was living. 52 When he inquired as to the time when his son got better, they said to him, “Yesterday, at one in the afternoon, the fever left him.”

53 Then the father realized that this was the exact time at which Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.” So he and his whole household believed.

So what’d I get out of this?

Faith is hard sometimes.  Faith requires a trust in the Lord that might sometimes seem absolutely insane to those looking in on our situation.  This man, this official, walked likely around 25 miles uphill, leaving his dying son behind, to meet a man, Jesus, that he had likely never met but only heard about so that he could beg for a miracle.

Sounds a little risky.

Can you imagine walking out on your dying son?!  Can you imagine seeing that your boy’s health is failing, looking at that sick face and then turning to take a journey to hope to find a guy who had a reputation for magically turning water to wine?!  And not only finding him, but convincing him to journey back with you 25 miles to heal your son?

If I’m being honest, I’d probably have been someone left behind at the official’s house, mumbling to myself about what a ridiculous abandonment that was for such a critical time as this.  I don’t know if I’d have had faith strong enough to separate myself from the situation and seek the One who could will it to change.

But that’s the thing about faith.  It isn’t silent.  It isn’t quiet.  It isn’t unnoticeable.  Faith is a noun that requires a verb.  It works itself out, proving its existence in our physical lives.  James 2:26 says, “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”  Especially in the context of the story of the official’s son, this makes much sense to me.

Oh, that my own faith might be strong enough to act!  Oh, that my own faith might be stronger than my fears, stronger than the present, stronger than the reality that’s right in front of me!