Having known for 28 weeks / At week 34.

Spiritual: You’ve heard me say it before, but the Lord is good.  He’s been faithful to the promises He’s whispered in my heart.  When I put my trust in Him so many months ago and let myself “rejoice in hope,” I could have never imagined the ways that He’d be providing for me, Brian and Bennett.  I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record; but I’m definitely NOT sorry that He remains the same!

Emotional: Quite a few people saw me get weepy at my baby shower on Sunday.  I’d say it was a first for a good 80% of the women there as I’m usually a fairly calm and collected individual.  The thing is (and forgive me if this is too much information) that my boss kindly gifted me one of my most coveted (and certainly my most expensive) registry items: my breast pump.

Assuming that all goes well in the nursing department, having a hands-free, double pump is going to really help my transition back into work next year.  First of all, my milk supply will be a lot less likely to dry up if I keep a good pumping schedule.  Secondly, it’s a fast pump; and every minute counts at the salon.  Thirdly, the device being hands-free ensures that I’ll actually be able to eat on breaks, too, which is also important when you want a healthy milk supply.

Physical: I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. THERE’S. MORE.

If you’ve followed my Friday updates, you know I’ve had no lack of pregnancy adjustments.  Surely I’m running out of body parts that can still change, right?

Wrong.

This week was the very first time that, well… how do I put this…?

Okay, I had just used the bathroom, was washing my hands and thought to myself, “Wait a sec…  Do I have to pee again?”

I hadn’t even had a chance to step out before it hit me… again.  Sheesh.

In other physical news, I’ve learned that even one’s eyes can be affected by pregnancy.  The pregnancy hormones can actually decrease tear production and cause dry eye irritation.  Discovering this actually relieved me as I was beginning to wonder why my eyes were stinging (especially when tired) and becoming concerned about allergies (because I don’t feel right blaming EVERYTHING on the pregnancy).  Additionally, the fluid that can cause pregnant women to swell can also cause the shapes of their eyes to change.  I don’t know if I’m experiencing that exactly, but it’s still a fascinating fact worth noting (and I’m assuming I’d dread this if I wore contacts).

Lastly, when feeling especially exhausted, I’ve noticed that the right side of my face will begin to twitch (primarily around my nose and mouth).  And naturally I’m paranoid about the twitches and spasms because one of my clients developed Bell’s Palsy during her pregnancy (which means she was paralyzed on one side of her face).  Now, once her son was born, within hours her face went back to normal.  But ya better believe that more than any other horror story I’ve been told, THIS is the one that makes me nervous.  So Pregnant Square Piece has been resting a LOT more to save face, literally.

Mental:  And that leaves us with the reality of how very vain I must really be.  Okay, I can hide most of the unpleasantries of pregnancy beneath my support hose.  But I cannot hide my face!  My money maker!  (*wink wink*)

So naturally when my mouth twitches, internally I cry, “Not the face!  Anything but the face!  Cut off one of my legs, but leave the face!”

(Dear Lord, I don’t mean it.  You know what’s best for me.  Forgive my vanity.)

All along, the fact that I still recognize myself in the mirror has made every other adjustment more bearable.  For the most part I still feel like myself.  Not every woman remains this recognizable by the end of her pregnancy; and there’s nothing guaranteeing that I will either.  But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I don’t want EVERYthing to deteriorate.

4 Comments

  1. September 14, 2012
    Momma

    I really love how open and honest you are about your feelings. I wish we all could be this “real” to the people around us.

    Mwah!

  2. September 14, 2012
    skyla

    a breast pump!? what a great gift! they’re most definitely a good thing to have. i love mine.

  3. September 14, 2012
    Claire http://www.psalm127.blogspot.com/

    I agree with Sklya–what a fantastic gift for your boss to give!! And I agree with your mom too–I love reading how you honestly process everything, and just seeing the freshness of it all through your eyes!

    As far as the need to pee constantly at the end of pregnancy part, I had a friend who ened up wearing a big maxi pad especially on her daily walks so that she could just pee a little bit and feel relief, since she felt like she had to go all the time, LOL. I’ve never actually done that, but yeah–it doesn’t get any better from here on out! : )

  4. September 17, 2012
    Manny

    No doubt. Listen, the other night I was thankful that I’m pretty. It helps diffuse situations and I am a princess so I can often use my looks to get what I want. Maybe a pouty face thrown in there from time to time. I had lower self esteem in the younger years. So glad that I grew out of that and into this swan. šŸ™‚ But seriously again, if it was all taken away, I still have the hope within me and hopefully my heart will have grown so much that I would still be beautiful.

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