It was only a matter of time before it happened.
I finally had a dream in which I was holding and caring for my own baby.
I thank the Lord for these types of dreams. With a personality like mine, it is immensely helpful to be able to picture myself in the roles that will later be required of me. For me, there’s less concern over being practically ready and more concern over being emotionally ready.
So when I awake from a dream in which I’m loving and adoring my own baby boy (with Brian’s square jawline and his gentle, green eyes), then I begin to think, Yeah, I can do well in this role. I feel it.
It’s interesting that the baby was a boy. Women have been volunteering (unprompted by me, of course) their predictions of the sex of the baby. Yes, I actually have a tally going at work. Presently, the overwhelming response is that I’m having a boy.
I’m not so sure.
And it feels like an e.t.e.r.n.i.t.y before we can find out.
One coworker gave an extra hysterical explanation as to why I’m having a boy:
Her: “In my country we have a tradition. If the mother looks like she has sad eyes, it’s going to be a boy. Your eyes look sad, Suzanna, so I think it’s going to be a boy.”
Me: “Are you sure my eyes aren’t just sad all the time?”
Great. I have sad eyes.
New cravings: Applesauce and cottage cheese, together. Been upping my fruit intake in general.
Present aversions: Beauregard. His natural stench is unbearable. Brian’s promising to bathe him. That should help for a good 17 hours before the stink comes back. Still having a hard time with the smell of coffee and the rest of my previously mentioned aversions.
Feelings: Feisty. The typical amount of patience that I possess (which keeps me out of a significant amount of trouble) seems to be wearing thin as I have strong inclinations to speak my mind when riled. This is dangerous. Words can cut a person leaving a lifetime of damage; I don’t care what that “Sticks and Stones” nursery rhyme says. This morning I spent some time rereading the accounts of Jesus’ crucifixion. When he was being falsely accused by mobs of ignorant, self-interested people, he kept his mouth shut. Best to let your life speak for itself. Commencing a valiant effort to contain the hormonal surges!
Hopes: Pretty much that my sister, Mandy, gets pregnant one day. (Love you, Manny!)
She gave me hell this Monday over the shock and disappointment of me succumbing to fast food. While my diet has been very colorful and healthy (mostly) this week, on the occasion that I do “need” fast food, it certainly feels like a desperate surrender more than an appetizing choice. I reminded Mandy that I’m sensitive right now; but it never hurts to have honesty and accountability within the family.
News: My baby apparently is the size of a large plum, according to the What To Expect pregnancy app on my phone.
Habits: Extreme belching. In fact, this has been ongoing pretty much during the entire pregnancy. Ask anyone who has been in my company for a half hour. Brian has confirmed that this is definitely a new development. When I’m at work, I try to hide the disturbing noise behind the hum of the blowdryer. It’s quite a surprising rumble that feels like it’s coming from the depths of my knees. But – oh! – I feel so much better!
So much to digest! I love reading your blog and living through all of this with you …. thanks for letting me be a part of who you are … dreams, green eyes, aversions, cravings, hormones, hopes and belching …. I love you.
Wow the things I learn about you….I absolutely love it:)
Finding out the sex of your baby will come in no time lol but it feels like an eternity! I can’t wait until you start showing! Very exciting indeed.. And the burping will only get worse, its also one of my habits lol =/
i was having a girl because i was sick, i was having a girl because i didn’t look too ugly, i was having a girl because my mother in law and her friend felt it and predicted it and they’re never wrong, i was having a girl because i felt like it was, i was having a girl because everyone else thought it was and told me i was. and now i’m having a boy.
Just knew my first born would look just like me…have 3 older sisters who look just like me, so naturally Noelle would look just like me. Instead, ended up with a beautiful red head that looks just like me and years of comments from strangers along the lines of “does she look like her father?” That said, her red hair is a sign of tenderness from my heavenly Father who knew I always wanted to be a redhead!
Don’t hope that for me! That’s just crazy talk. Unless it’s another immaculate conception (which of course will never happen)!
Mark me down for a girl. Not sure why, but I’ve thought this for a couple of weeks. So since you are keeping a tally….here is one more for the girl column.
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE told me that I was going to have a boy…but I knew, and I can’t explain that knowing in my heart, that it was a girl…I love reading your blog and taking this journey with you. I miss you so much and I don’t have a single doubt in my mind what an AMAZING godly mother you are going to be and how blessed that amazing miracle is going to be to be loved and nutured and trained up in the things of the Lord by you.
Im guessing it was mai that said that…can you use correct mai wording? That would be amazing 🙂
From my Squash Blossom friend, Melody:
For some reason, my comment wouldn’t post. First time.
Thought I’d send it anyway.
I can’t guess gender, until you’re really showing and then, I will be right Give me one or two more appointments.
Lisa always ate applesauce and cottage cheese. I’ve never known anyone else but she and I who love this combo. If you’re in the mood, try whipped cottage cheese. It’s really good with applesauce as well. Also with bananas!
I am so happy your first dream was a good one. Mine were mired in worry. I wish you many more positive