I saw the sign.

Men, I’m not sure if you’ve figured this out yet, but women have signs leading up to their period besides PMS.  Some women crave dairy; some, chocolate; some, salt.  A variety of body parts can swell.  Some of us break out all over; and some of us get that one, painful, mother-of-a-pimple.  And sometimes when you go to the bathroom… well, let’s just say that something you expect to be one color might be a slightly different color.

And such was my experience.

So naturally I screamed from the bathroom, “BRRRRRRIAN!  I’m going to start my peeeeeeeeriod!  I’ve got the siiiiiiiiiiiiign!”

(Do you ever yell things from the bathroom?  I could start an entire category of posts titled “Conversations shouted through the bathroom walls.”)

Now, it’s true that I could have waited to have this conversation after exiting the bathroom.  However Brian’s been pestering me about being pregnant and I couldn’t wait to prove him wrong.  He lives his life always about 80% sure that I’m pregnant all of the time.  Call it paranoia.

Me, exiting the bathroom, “Do you know what it IS?  Do you know what the sign IS?”

Brian,  “A fat stomach?”

Ugh.

My voice lowered, “A.  Fat.  Stomach?”

Realizing his error, he immediately followed with a string of other signs and symptoms.  “Headache?  Diarrhea?…”

Looks like somebody needs to review The Cottage Cheese Incident.