In preparation for “The Dreadlock Incident” and Brian’s very unflattering picture, it seems fair that first I poke a little fun at myself and my own unflattering picture. (Four more days!)
Remember when I admitted my obsession with my teeth? The obsession isn’t as private as one might hope. No, on any given day, at any given moment, in any public setting whatsoever, I’ll shoot this look over to Brian:
Except it’s not just a look. It’s a look and my own weird language.
Me, “Ou I ha ayyy-hing eh hi heehhh?”
Brian, “A pretty smile.”
“Ou I ha ayyy-hing eh hi heehhh?” is Square Piece talk for “Do I have anything in my teeth?” It’d be just as easy to first ask the question and then make the teeth face; but no. No, I have to ask the question while making the teeth face. Every. Time.
I dare you to take a second and try saying, “Do I have anything in my teeth?” while making the teeth face. Let me know how it goes and what it sounds like.
Brian’s response has never changed. “A pretty smile” is his standard reply. I could have pizza crust and tomato bits in every cranny and he’d still say, “A pretty smile.” Though that’s sweet, it kinda defeats the purpose of me getting all crazy-faced.
But if I’m going down, I’m taking Mandy and Joey down with me.
We all do it. Not only will we flash the teeth face, we’ll go right in and take care of the situation on the spot.
No, we’ve never been shy about teeth maintenance. Unfortunately, this habit has resulted in more than one awkward moment when I’ve forgotten that someone isn’t related to me and I’ve gone in for the offending pepper fleck. (Apparently not everyone wants my finger in their mouth!)
So I’m gonna go out on a limb and say there’s a little square piece in all of us. Is that crazy? Or can you identify with the terror of worrying that you’re having a conversation while there’s food in your teeth?
(By the way, if you’re the sort of person who enjoys silly ramblings such as these, Square Piece can brighten your day every day by sending you an email notification of when posts are published. You’ll never miss one! Look to the right sidebar to find where you can enter your address.)