My dear chipped-mug friend, Sherri, is getting hitched tomorrow! You can tell I’m up for the celebration based on the fabulous state of my manicure. This is the most enjoyment I’ve gotten from nail polish since stopping two runs in my support hose! (Clear nail polish is great for runny hose.)
If someone asked me to give some marriage advice off the cuff, here’s what I’d have up my sleeve with just a moment’s notice:
- Pray together. Make it a habit. Morning, evening, doesn’t matter. Pray out loud. Pray about the little things, the big things, the family and friends things. Pray together when you’re angry with each other; pray together when you’re fearful about the future. Thank the Lord in agreement with one another. Remember Who’s in charge.
- Don’t say two things in one sentence by using 1) your words and 2) your tone. If your tone is implying a second point, then choose to use a second sentence instead. Sarcasm stops being funny when it’s the only means by which we communicate our displeasure.
- Turn off the electronics and take a bath together. Communication is much more effective and enjoyable when you strip away all the distractions.
What’s some marriage advice you’ve taken to heart?
While you’re putting up with a bunch of annoying things about your spouse, remember that he’s doing the same for you.
When your wife tells you to get two quarts of transmission fluid, you do not get one!
Stick it out, even when times are tough. A good marriage takes work, and truly gets better as time goes on.
1. God has created us to need and want Him. If our relationship with God isn’t where it should be, then we search for something/someone to fill that void. Inevitably, we place our spouse in this spot & expect them to provide for us in all the ways God will. Because of unfair expectations & being human, they fall short, resulting in disappointment. Don’t make your spouse try to fill those shoes.
2. Love & respect your spouse to glorify God, not to receive thanks or love & respect back from your spouse. (I think this ones really hard.)
Find out each others love language. Surprise each other with little surprises. Notes in his lunch, special Starbucks treats, lighting bedroom candles, candies by the pillow.
Make one night a week to be closer. Pray and talk about your week,’praises and fears. Turn off phones tv etc. Go for walks or just play a game together. Every week make a point to slow down.
But along with that don’t isolate your selves. Enjoy fellowship build friendships together and invite people into your homes. You can learn a lot from interaction with your friends that are married!
LOL @ what Charley said …
My advice would be to respect each other, in every way.
Pick your battles.
Don’t forget to put you husband ABOVE your kids….yes you may spend more time with the kids, but make the time you spend with your spouse meaningful, and purposeful and it is okay to purpose to read in bed together! All moments together don’t have to be deep, just enjoyable for both!
Here are several ideas that were passed on to me before I got married.
1). Don’t use your given names when speaking to each other. Always use a term of endearment instead. If you make this a habit you will discover that it makes it more difficult to have a fight. Instead of greeting my husband with “Paul” I will generally say something like “Love of my Life” or “Handsome Prince of Mine”. It makes it much harder to think mean things about my “Sweet Baby Love”. š
2). Refrain from starting sentences with these words, “You always” and “You never”. This is good when speaking to your children as well.
I know this is is old advice, but it’s one of my rules:
Try never to end the day angry. Work it out!!! Promotes love and a better tomorrow.
Love love love this! Especially #1
Tell your partner often what he or she has done right. Too often we focus on the negatives and feel we don’t have to tell them when they’ve done a good thing, but everyone loves to be praised, even if it’s for something quite mundane.
Using “I” messages can still be quite effective. Instead of saying, “You didn’t take out the trash”, say, “I feel sad when the garbage is left for me to take care of.” A weak example, maybe, but you get the idea. Take the blame out of what you feel you need to say by talking about your own feelings.