Having a minute to brew a cup of coffee the other day, I casually perused the magazines that were in the waiting area at work.
Yes, with my options being GQ, Ladies’ Home Journal, Time and Self, I decided to pick up Teen Vogue.
I hang my head in shame.
Upon flipping the cover, this is the very first spread in the March issue:
Shock! Horror! It’s so mature for teens, don’t you think?
Postured as if the magazine was my steering wheel and the indecency was my gas, I “drove” up to the front desk – arms stretched out before me – displaying this abomination to two of my coworkers.
Me, “Look! This is TEEN Vogue.”
I shoved the cover towards them and then flipped the page before their eyes.
“The very first page! Isn’t that inappropriate?! You DO realize that girls who are THIRTEEN are teens, too, right?!”
The two coworkers, with blank stares, seemed a little confused and tried to feign nods of understanding.
A little surprised that they didn’t adamantly agree with my modest perspective, I began to think, Am I crazy? Is this honestly prudish? Do people really think that this is fine and normal? Did I just spring this on them too suddenly?
It wasn’t until I looked down and saw which page I was holding out to them that I realized why they were so caught off guard.
I had accidentally flipped an additional page and this – this! – is advertisement from which they were trying to process rage and scandal:
I couldn’t stop laughing at myself.
Can you believe it?! Can you believe these pastel colors?! Honestly, who has the nerve to print two girls in headbands and buns?! I mean, come on, isn’t thirteen a little too young for scenes with purses?! How inappropriate are these buttons and collars?!
Ha ha ha…
Lesson learned: When you’re aghast and offended, take a minute to slow down; otherwise you’ll risk making yourself look like an explosive fool.