Restoring dignity at the gym, part 2.5 (Except it’s not really about the gym. It’s about Brian.)

Previously on Square Piece:

>Then later today I had an appointment with Marcus, my trainer.  Before I ran out the door, first I had to finish my crazed, clean-all-the-bedding routine.  And if there’s one thing over which I’m developing an unhealthy obsession, it’s ironing out the wrinkles in freshly washed sheets.  I am a grandma trapped in a 28 year old’s body, okay?

>Well, just as I was shaking out the sheet to fold it, my arm touched back on the hot iron and I got burned Real. Nice.  You could actually see the outline of the steam holes in the shape of the burn.

>Me, “I think I’m going to have to call Marcus.”  Our appointment was in 13 minutes.

>Brian, “Eh.  You can still work out your legs, can’t you?”

>(Oh, yes he did.)

I believe that I was unfair in communicating Brian’s post-burn response.  To give him some credit, let’s delve into the context of that day:

Remember how I went to my Body Flow class only after Brian discouraged me from going?  The high-pitched fit that I threw before putting on my sneakers went a little something like this:

“No!  I have to go!  This class has been really helping me and I’ve been feeling so good about myself!  It’s always when I feel like I’m doing all right that I stop doing all the things that are working!  Blah blah blah…”

After Body Flow was over, I went to run an errand at Costco, but pulled into the parking lot and realized that I had neither cash nor debit card on me.  They’re kinda funny about that, so I called Brian and asked him to be ready to run to the car and pass off some form of currency that Costco would deem acceptable.

Don’t forget, though, that my endorphins were running high from the Body Flow class.  I was feeling quite content with myself and – dare I say – a little frisky.

Brian opened the door and kindly gave me the cash.

Me, “Hey, sugar daddy.”

Brian, “Sugar daddy?”

Me, “Well, you’re giving me all your cash.”

Brian, “It’s really your cash.”  (True.  Tip money.)

Me, “Wanna make out?”

It’s at this point that Brian’s face clearly read, “Huh?”

Me, “You see?!  You see what happens when I go to Body Flow?!  It’s to your advantage that I go to the gym!  It makes me affectionate!”

So fast forward to the whole arm burning incident.  Now do you get it?  The man is not stupid.  Now that I’ve spelled out the benefits of his wife attending the gym, I think he’ll encourage me to go in sickness and in health, come rain or shine, in the morning, in the evening… You name it.

He he he… “You can still work out your legs, can’t you?”


  1. November 9, 2011
    Momma @Donna


  2. November 9, 2011


    (and now I’m thinking of joining a gym)

  3. November 9, 2011

    OMG! Love it.

  4. November 9, 2011

    A HA HA HA! This definitely made me smile and LOL! Cute and funny. Aww.

  5. November 13, 2011

    Hahaha soo glad you posted this for the rest of the world to read and that I’m not the only one who got to enjoy this. :]

  6. December 15, 2011

    Sooooo funny!

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