Slow Your Breath Down

Written on 7/31/12:

While at work this afternoon, I briefly engaged in a discussion pertaining to my seemingly even-keeled state of mind.  With all of the stereotypes surrounding hormonal pregnant women, I guess I had just expected to feel more.  It seemed like I should be more easily brought to tears over music or Hallmark commercials or the squirrels in the backyard.  How come I still feel like myself?

Only mere hours later did I get off work and call Brian on my way home.  My sweet husband very carefully proposed a plan to invest a little money into something that, given a teensy bit of time, could return a decent profit.  But, he clarified, he didn’t want to make any major decisions without asking me first.  Instead, he wanted to talk it over with me and, if I wasn’t on board, no big deal.

I nearly drove off the road blindsided by my immediate anger.

Anger?  That’s weird.

Brian could hear me choking back the nails that I wanted to spit and reconfirmed that his intention wasn’t to upset me.

Me, “I can’t talk about this right now.  I’m heading into Subway.  I need to eat something.”

Would someone please keep me out of Subway when I’m clearly an emotional basket case?  I swear that every time I go in there, another week gets hacked off of the end of my life due to the indifferent lack of symmetry that goes into the preparation of my sub.  Listen.  When a pregnant woman (or a square piece) asks for more tomatoes than you’ve already put on the sub, do not – I repeat DO NOT – just put two more slices on ONE side of the 12-inch sub.

You realize that we’re creating this sub for me, right?  You realize that when you cut this sub in half, I’m going to be obsessing over which side has more tomato, right?  Are you trying to make me CRY?!

Raging hormonal fluctuations?  *shrug*  I haven’t noticed any yet.

Typically when I’m in a crabby patty sort of mood, the right music helps to calm the beast.  I was sure that I needed to hear some Josh Garrels, but instead I wound up soothing my soul to the tunes of Future of Forestry.  (That, and I snuggled my face into Esther while praying for the Lord’s help and forgiveness.)

You’re going to love this song, Slow Your Breath Down.  It’s one of my all time favorites and I’m shocked that I’ve never mentioned this one before today.  If you’re already having a good day, go ahead and stub your toe or give yourself a paper cut real quick.  If you get yourself in a sore enough mood, then you’ll really realize what a treat this is.  (Even though the lyrics are posted, watch the video.  These guys switch in and out of instruments and it’s lovely.)

Slow Your Breath Down

This chest is full of memories

Of gold and silver tears

I’ll give you more to own than

All of this

And I’ll give you more than years

For you were once a child of innocence

And I see you just the same

Your burdens couldn’t win or

Lose a thing

Oh, I’d tell you once again

But you’re always on the run

Slow your breath down

Just take it slow

Find your heart now, oh

You can trust and love again

Slow your breath down, just take it slow

Find your smile now, oh

You can trust and love again

If you leave I’ll still be close to you

When all your fears rain down

I’ll take you back a thousand times again

I’ll take you as my own

I would sing you songs of innocence

‘Til the light of morning comes

‘Til the rays of gold and honey cover you

In the sweetness of the dawn

But you’re always on the run

You’re not alone

You’re now a part of me

You feel the cure

I’ll feel the toil it brought you


  1. August 1, 2012

    LOVE . LOVE . LOVE . this song!!!

    Needed to hear it, too.


  2. August 1, 2012

    Man Suzy, I needed to hear this too. Thank you!!!! Love you.

  3. August 1, 2012

    What? Wait, I’m confused. He checked with you first and you went ape? Hmmm. I bet he’s looking forward to you NOT being pregnant anymore. I’ll buy him the biggest box of Trojan’s so this doesn’t happen again. 😛 Ba ha ha ha! J/K I love you Sue!

    • In my defense, when you’ve got three months left to be pregnant, you don’t want ANY more variables or changes to be thrown your way, no more NEW decisions to be made. Obviously, this is not realistic, but that’s how I felt.

  4. August 1, 2012
    Janice Cline

    Your frank discussion of emotional highs and lows reached into my heart. Steroids for medical issues have me responding the same ways you describe and frustrate me. Your account of tomatoes on your Subway sandwich almost made me laugh. I ask black olives. Really? Extra means 12 olive slices tossed on? And 4 of them fell off. I need dark chocolate.

  5. August 1, 2012

    So, did you figure out why you got angry initially. Brian’s question seemed reasonable and very man-of-the-house.

    I loved the song. Beautiful words, good voices and instrumentation and very soothing. I definitely needed a calm background today.

    Thanks for sharing.

  6. August 1, 2012

    I told a lady at McDonalds I was going to call the health department on them and proceeded to tell her I was going to own McDonalds if she kept making me mad -_- ifelt like an ass later but hormones r crazy! Lol

  7. August 2, 2012
    Nicole K.

    I can relate to the mood swings, and the anger that comes from seemingly nowhere. The fertility medications I am taking are making me feel like a crazy person! I pray that we both find emotional peace! 🙂

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