The coconut incident.

Brian and I recently had the opportunity to host a couple that was passing through the area.  We hosted them about the same time last year and looked forward to getting to sit down with them again.  The wife is kinda a one-woman show and her husband, originally from Mexico, travels on the road with her.  Naturally I went into hostess mode well before their arrival.  World Peace Salad was made.  Groceries were purchased.  Floors were cleaned.  You know.

Being that this couple was staying for two nights, I had mentally prepared a menu that would accommodate my work schedule while still being healthy and fresh enough to support their immune systems while on tour  (I get a little protective of my touring artists and their immune systems.  See When Italian Instincts Fog My Sensibilities.)  But upon their arrival I was informed that the husband had gotten sick in the last year and this time he needed to be on a sodium-free diet.

What.?.

I didn’t have a Plan B.  Actually, I almost never have a Plan B.

Do you know how much EVERYTHING has sodium?  I couldn’t make my famous smoothies.  Nope.  Even mango nectar has sodium.  Organic vanilla yogurt has sodium.  It seems as though my entire kitchen and all that it contains has been licked with a slobbery, sodium-coated tongue and I’m just now realizing this.  But I.  Will.  Not.  Be.  Thwarted.

I learned that if I can substitute celery for salt, it’s quite a delightful alternative.  (Naturally, that won’t work for everything.  But it definitely worked for dinner.)

And so, one night we all sat around the table for hours laughing, joking and *perhaps* reading Square Piece.  The husband brings up Mexico a lot.  I don’t blame him.  He’s got such great memories!  But because we were all goofing off and being silly, I teasingly retorted to one of his comments (in reference to the sodium situation), “I’ve never met such a picky Mexican.”

Guest husband, “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!  Are you calling me a COCONUT?!”

Me, confused.

Guest husband, “No one ever in all my LIFE has EVER called me a COCONUT!”

Me, “I said no such thing.”

Guest husband, “Oooooooooh!  I can’t believe she called me a COCONUT!”

Me, “I’ve never heard this term.”

Brian, “Yeah, I’ve never heard anyone say that…”

Guest husband, “You know!  Brown on the outside, white on the inside!”

We all cracked up laughing.

Me, “Are you calling white people picky?”

Guest wife, “OOOOOOOOOH!”

Guest husband, “Actually, you know it’s funny.  If I went home to Mexico and told my friends about this diet, they’d probably beat me up.  Then they’d hold me down and shove a burrito down my throat.”