As I prop myself up against a mound of laundry that needs to be put away, I’m enjoying a peanut butter, nutella and banana sandwich while pondering the end of the world.
Am I seriously the only woman who has ever been pregnant who has thought, “Crap! What if all hell breaks loose and I’m nine months pregnant?” or “What if nation turns upon nation, we’re being bombed, riots are erupting, earthquakes and tornadoes are shredding the valley and I have to run with an infant to high ground and figure out how to survive?”
Am I morbid? ‘Cause seriously, it’s entered my mind more than once. In fact, even before I found out that I was pregnant, there were times where I’d entertain the thought thinking, “It’d just be my luck to have to seek shelter with a baby strapped to me…”
Now, you can tell me not to worry about it and that it’ll never happen, but I can’t promise that the possibility won’t still hibernate secretly in the back of my head.
What else is an eleven week pregnant woman supposed to think when she hears news reports of birds dropping dead out of the sky or dolphins beaching themselves (so sad) or severity of earthquakes increasing both in strength and number or tornadoes reaching new records , etc?
This – this! – is why I don’t watch the news. (Unfortunately, I succumb to it on Facebook.)
These ponderings aren’t to say that I’m scared that the world is coming to an end, or that I’m even scared at all. Like I’ve said before, I truly trust the Lord’s timing in this pregnancy. I’m excited for what the future holds and know that there is a reason for everything under the sun, no matter how my small, finite mind interprets that information. There IS a reason.
My hope isn’t in security and safety. My hope is in the Lord.
My hope isn’t in peace and prosperity. My hope is in the Lord.
My hope isn’t in my ability to defend myself against natural and human disasters. My hope is in the Lord.
Incidentally, that’s also where my peace is found.
So I’m just pondering, not freaking out, but pondering the end of the world. I mean someone’s bound to be pregnant or nursing in the end, right?
But even if that were me, I’d still do my best. That’s all I can do, right?
…Well, I say that… but if I’m being completely honest, usually my prayer is, “Lord, help me not to do my best. Help me to do Your best through me.”