The end of the world.

As I prop myself up against a mound of laundry that needs to be put away, I’m enjoying a peanut butter, nutella and banana sandwich while pondering the end of the world.

Am I seriously the only woman who has ever been pregnant who has thought, “Crap!  What if all hell breaks loose and I’m nine months pregnant?” or “What if nation turns upon nation, we’re being bombed, riots are erupting, earthquakes and tornadoes are shredding the valley and I have to run with an infant to high ground and figure out how to survive?”

Am I morbid?  ‘Cause seriously, it’s entered my mind more than once.  In fact, even before I found out that I was pregnant, there were times where I’d entertain the thought thinking, “It’d just be my luck to have to seek shelter with a baby strapped to me…”

Now, you can tell me not to worry about it and that it’ll never happen, but I can’t promise that the possibility won’t still hibernate secretly in the back of my head.

What else is an eleven week pregnant woman supposed to think when she hears news reports of birds dropping dead out of the sky or dolphins beaching themselves (so sad) or severity of earthquakes increasing both in strength and number or tornadoes reaching new records , etc?

This – this! – is why I don’t watch the news.  (Unfortunately, I succumb to it on Facebook.)

These ponderings aren’t to say that I’m scared that the world is coming to an end, or that I’m even scared at all.  Like I’ve said before, I truly trust the Lord’s timing in this pregnancy.  I’m excited for what the future holds and know that there is a reason for everything under the sun, no matter how my small, finite mind interprets that information.  There IS a reason.

My hope isn’t in security and safety.  My hope is in the Lord.

My hope isn’t in peace and prosperity.  My hope is in the Lord.

My hope isn’t in my ability to defend myself against natural and human disasters.  My hope is in the Lord.

Incidentally, that’s also where my peace is found.

So I’m just pondering, not freaking out, but pondering the end of the world.  I mean someone’s bound to be pregnant or nursing in the end, right?

But even if that were me, I’d still do my best.  That’s all I can do, right?

…Well, I say that… but if I’m being completely honest, usually my prayer is, “Lord, help me not to do my best.  Help me to do Your best through me.”

6 Comments

  1. April 12, 2012
    Sherri

    “Lord, help me not to do my best. Help me to do Your best through me.”

    i need to cross stitch that on my arm.

  2. April 12, 2012
    Momma

    Like I said last night, Mary had no place to go and ended up putting our Lord in a feeding trough on the night He was born.

    If God can feed a million people in the dessert for 40 years and provide His Son a place to lay His head, then He will certainly be there for YOU and the little one.

  3. April 12, 2012
    Katie

    I’ve had the same thoughts Suzy. And they go on and on and get pretty freaky. So much is uncertain. I’m so thankful you know the only one that is constant and faithful. Even if the sun doesn’t rise some day, he will remain the same. Even if all hell breaks loose and the world falls apart, his love and faithfulness DOES NOT CHANGE. Hugging you!!

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