Grandma Square Piece is trapped in 28 year old Square Piece’s body. There’s an old soul just dying to bust through the exterior and make her appearance.
Let me introduce you to the grandma in me:
She likes baked oatmeal.
She likes to wear slips under her skirts.
She’s still stirred by the hymn “It Is Well.”
Grandma Square Piece reads the same Bible over and over and finds new treasures each time.
She heats the water for her tea in a kettle on the stove instead of in the microwave.
She irons her jeans and her husband’s dress shirts.
She likes lipstick.
Grandma Square Piece remembers when cell phones were a luxury, when the landline had to be free to use the internet and when purchasing black & white film was very, very exciting.
She delights in being set in her ways.
She has formed unusual stereotypes about people from Michigan.
She hates this generation’s music.
Grandma Square Piece attends church every Sunday.
She also likes to knit in church.
She believes that knitting will accomplish two things:
- It helps her to focus on the sermon.
- It keeps her face from aging as she stays expressionless the entire time.
Grandma Square Piece feeds her dogs table scraps, but then scolds her husband when he does the same.
She finds that quilts are more charming than comforters.
She’s overwhelmed by all the buttons on the remote control.
She believes in the importance of a house robe.
She also believes in apple butter.
Grandma Square Piece married her sweetheart back when she was 21. She intends to stay faithful and true to only him.
She doesn’t understand what the deal is with Hollywood.
She remembers when the highest SAT score was 1600.
She finds Christmas to be magical in every capacity.
She forgets to take her pills most of the time.
And she’s tired of hearing about sunscreen.