“Trust your gut! Vote for Suzy.”
If you attended Hedgesville High School in 2000, you might have seen this campaign poster plastered throughout hallways and hanging from lockers:
While, yes, I succeeded in clenching the title of “class chaplain,” there is a greater issue to be noted.
Do you see my belly?
No, I was not pregnant. Quite the contrary, I was a virgin. But it was during those years – my high school years – that I discovered the uncanny ability talent to be able to push out my belly to an insane degree. I mean – come on! – that looks like I’m well into the second trimester at least, right?!
My bud, Mark Mann, even wrote about this phenomenon in our high school paper, The Eagle’s Eye:
Mann’s Believe It or Not
Name one thing that is good for when you’re bored, good for starting conversations, and good for impressing Brazilian missionaries: why it’s Suzy Testa’s stomach of course!…
…When fully stuffed with food, Suzy can go from a flat stomach to a third trimester in seconds. We all know people that can do this to a degree, but Suzy can somehow make her stomach three or four times its normal size. Suzy is very proud of her ability; while on her missions trip this summer, Suzy greatly impressed the missionaries with her stomach, and claims to have eaten more ice cream than anyone on her team. Suzy challenges anyone in the school to an ice cream eating contest. She would also like to remind people that she is neither pregnant nor overweight – she just wants to be a “cute pregnant lady” someday.
Lest we forget just how incredible and distinguishable this talent is, let’s review my average waist size (try not to hate me and just enjoy the glorious Christmas tree in the background):
Brian and I have taken to labeling the “babies” in my belly.
In this picture (taken by another one of my buds, Ben Lebovitz), we called this the Ethiopian Baby:
Clearly I had just indulged myself in Ethiopian food.
I call this one my Red Bean Ice Cream Baby:
Shocking. I know.
(Seriously, if you’ve never had red bean ice cream, you’re missing out. Don’t act like it’s gross; you eat vanilla bean ice cream, don’t you?)
Yes, I had to unbutton my pants. Upon texting my friends, I realized that my giftedness was greater than I had imagined as I even managed to fool women who have children of their own and know how to recognize pregnant bellies. It IS surprising the talents that go undiscovered for so many years…
Except this time it’s not a talent. This time it’s for real.
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To be continued…
(PS – We all like to be first in the know, but please do me the favor of nonchalantly sharing this particular post if you’re dying to spread the word that I’m preggo. It’s just more fun this way!)
Way to go Suzy and Brian!!! And I am going to be a grandfather!I love you guys!
You’re going to be an adorable grandfather. Xoxo.
Yeah he is!
Poppy!!!
Wonderful blessings and congratulations to you and Brian. Super excited up here on the mountain in PA:) Love to you both.
What?! Now I’m really sad I missed the family gathering yesterday, because I want to hug you both! Congratulations!
I cried when you told us and as I read this wonderful blog I have tears streaming down my face. I am so happy for you both. Love you bunches!!!!
I have the best friends. You cried, and my friend, Katie, spit on herself. 🙂
We’re really looking forward to this. 🙂
And you are going to be a beUuuuuutiful pregnant lady! What a precious time. I am so happy for you guys!
Congratulations. So very happy for you both.
Yay! So so so so so so so so happy for you two 😀 So exciting 😀 😀
Congratulations!
that is awesome, sweet Suzy! Congratulations!
🙂 me mucho gusta.
Looking forward to being “aunt manny”. I’m very happy for you and Brian. Makes me warm and fuzzy on the inside. <3
You forgot the ‘crazy’ part. Crazy Aunt Manny. 😉 Love you!
As I said on Facebook, CONGRATULATIONS!! My talent is different though–after 8 kids, I now have the ability to always look pregnant, thereby leading random strangers as well as good friends to constantly ask me if I am expecting again . . . but then again, sometimes they are right . . .
I am reading this on my phone, which doesnt allow me to see the entire post. Got to the line “…this time its real”. I stopped. Read it again. And a third time…thought “does that mean she’s pregnant?”
I scrolled down and said, “YAY!!!!!!!”
**happy dance***
Nice delivery on that punch line! Haha!! Congratulations!!!!!
oh, wow!!! Congratulations Suzy and Brian!!! i’m extremely happy for you!!!!
Congratulations! That is such exciting news!!
Rob just called me at work super excited: “Did you read Suzy’s blog today?!” We’re SO psyched!!! Congrats to you both!
Welcome to the club, Suzy! I’m so glad you made me subscribe to your blog while I’m off facebook. I would be livid about missing this. I’m sooooo excited you’ll be sharing this experience with me, I’ve been waiting for this day and when I got pregnant I was hoping even more it would come soon. Do me a favor and think of at least one question to ask me about being pregnant so I can help you out with something for once. 🙂
You got it.
YES!!! Go team Spears!! Ahhhh, I’m so happy for you guys!!
Ps. I am eternally jealous of your writing ability, and your subtle genius. Dang. Good post.
Jerry and I are so thrilled for you!! You’ll be the best parents!
Wonderful!!! I am so happy for you both !! Lucky baby has two great parents <3
I’m just so over -the -top tickled for you and Brian, Suzanna! What a terrific mom you will make!
Can’t wait to talk and laugh about this with you!
This will be one absolutely beautiful and loved baby.
Your tummy will look even cuter than the pictures above, believe me. And, you and Brian will sparkle.
I send so much love and wishes for good health for all, many incredible blessings and wonderful months ahead.
Congratulations Suzy!!! I’m so happy for you and Brian!! :] you guys will be awesome parents!!
Oh, Suzy! That is AWESOME! Guess Brian finally got a yes to the question he is always asking!!! Woo-hoo! So happy for you two!
I am so happy for you all! Congrats from :just a reader”.
Congratulations! So you have the talent of making your belly stick out and apparently I have the talent of knowing when people are pregnant. Seriously, I knew this two weeks ago–ask Kevin. How bizarre for me, but how wonderful for you both!
Hmmm, two weeks ago? You mean two weeks ago when we were at small group and Brian blurted out an extremely obvious prayer request about “major life changes”? Yeah. You should have had a feeling!
AHHHH Suzy! Yay! How far along? I was just going to say, your Red Bean Ice Cream Baby looks like my 16 week baby bump. :-p
That baby is blessed! I wish you and Brian all the best!
We have been waiting for this news. We will now have another great grandchild to SPOIL!!! We are lucky to have the two of you in our family. Love both of you.
After having 4 wonderful grandsons & 1 spoiled great grandson …THINK PINK!!!!
Wonderful news!!! You both will be great parents!!! I’m going to be a grandma:) Can’t wait!!! Love you both!!!! Mom
Ah ha! So that’s what it takes to get a comment from my daily-reading mother-in-law! 😉 Just a little something growing in the womb…
Yes, I just could not keep silent on this one:)
Wonderful news!!
You and Brian will be awesome parents!!!
Love, Mom
If this time is for real I want to see the belly!!!!
heee heeee! So happy for you!
Congrats! That sure is one lucky baby!
YEAAAAHHHHH! Congratulations to you and Brian! I am so excited for you. Enjoy every moment of this new journey. XXXOOO
Congratulations! I am happy and excited for you and Brian.
Congratulations to you and Brian!
Such wonderful news! God bless the three of you! As others have already said, team Spears will be amazing because your strength comes from THE ULTIMATE COACH! The Creator of Life Himself.
awwwww! congratulations!!! how very exciting!! <3
As soon as I started reading this post I knew what was coming. Eeep! And to think – the little guy has been here for a week already!!