Nearly everybody has heard of Jeff Foxworthy and his “you might be a redneck if…” jokes.
Well, with all the oddities I’ve experienced in the last eight months, I’ve got my own little variety of this joke. I have a feeling that this might be a reoccurring theme for the next month.
You might be pregnant if…
…you operate under the assumption that one bag of popcorn is one serving size of popcorn.
…you’ve asked your husband to help you get your pants off in the least sexy, most pathetic way ever.
…you’ve overheard your husband’s side of the phone conversation and it sounds like this: “Hey! Who’s this? … Oh, Uncle Butch! … Yeah, she just got home from work and she’s sitting on the couch. … No, she’s not fat. …”
…your car’s cup holder has recently been used to hold a cup of pudding.
…another woman has publicly asked you about your weight gain.
…you need at nap at 9:30 in the morning.
…listening to rap music has made you weepy.
To be continued… sometime…